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How To Support Your Children With Authentic Models of Leadership

There is great power in suggestion, especially with young children. When a child believes themselves to be something, they are likely to become true to those beliefs. If strict restraint is placed on a child repeatedly by a controlling authority, then the child’s energy begins to focus on putting all the energy into defending his true self. The book, Healing Our Children, describes this:

“Children controlled by outer authorities seem to be disciplined and behave, but they don’t learn any internal discipline. When they find themselves in positions of power they easily become the subjugators and seek to control others for their own personal gain.”

There are certain characteristics of a controlling authority and a powerless child which are closely related:

• Lack of empathy
• Unwillingness to listen to and affirm others’ beliefs and feelings
• Placing blaming with other people for mistakes and negative emotions

Creating an atmosphere of support will help to end the cycle of powerless children growing and developing into controlling authority figures. If  adults allow freedom for the child, and they try to understand the perspective of the child, then that child is more likely to become internally motivated, and they will rarely need to have their behavoir controlled by outside authority figures.

Children need to see themselves as capable human beings, and adults can foster this environment for then. As the child’s motivation and self-control naturally happens, it is important to the nurture the child and allow these changes to emerge at their own pace. In fact, it hinders the functions of a child’s spirit and brain making it difficult for the child to regulate behavoir and emotions when control is imposed from an adult figure.

Keep in mind that a child who is not allowed to naturally mature in these areas, is left in a situation where his behavior remains conditioned on outside forces to regulate his beliefs and actions. In turn, his feelings are diminished as a whole person and numbs, which also causes a decrease in empathy for other people.

Children can actually flourish and grow in their natural environment when they are not subjected to the the school system and the false authority that is imposed. It is important for them to make decisions and learn consequences as a result of being part of a community and family. It is possible for parents to be loving and supportive, which allows them to guide children without the feeling that outside control needs to be imposed. When parents strive to build authentic relationships with their children, then this cycle of “bullied into bully” can stop.

Photo Credit: MariaaaR from Flickr